Hello Readers!
This post marks the first in a series of installments, something like the Faerie Tale Medleys. I call these "The Tales of Darren" and they are all poems. This one is the first installment of a much longer poem which I shall be posting over a series of days.
Any constructive criticisms you have on the verse or any other details of the poem, would be welcome in the comment box.
Thank you.
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Once upon a time now past,
There was a knight of his kind last,
This post marks the first in a series of installments, something like the Faerie Tale Medleys. I call these "The Tales of Darren" and they are all poems. This one is the first installment of a much longer poem which I shall be posting over a series of days.
Any constructive criticisms you have on the verse or any other details of the poem, would be welcome in the comment box.
Thank you.
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Once upon a time now past,
There was a knight of his kind last,
Who roved through plain and then through dell,
Seeking to make the bad well,
Seeking to make the bad well,
Brave Darren was the name he bore,
Strong and bright armor he wore,
Strong and bright armor he wore,
His kind were lost in long gone days,
Going off upon their ways,
Going off upon their ways,
Brave Darren was the last now left,
In a land of mortal good bereft,
Yet none could halt him on his quest,In a land of mortal good bereft,
To all the evil darkness best,
None could stand in Darren's way,
None could hold Darren at bay,
One day as Darren rode through glen,
On path traversed by beast not men,
With sky above all black and gray,
As he rode on along his way,
He heard the sounds of those in fright,
The screams and wails of sorry plight,
Brave Darren hesitated not,
He spurred his mount into a trot,
And burst from out the forest trees,
Behold! Dark smoke blew on the breeze,
For close by where Darren now stood,
A town built of not rock but wood,
Was burning hot, flames blazing bright,
Bathing folk in fearsome light,
And coiled black against the sky,
Stood the monstrous reason why,
~To be Continued~
Cliffhanger!!! Heh. Good start to the poem as you have it. I notice you tend to shun most punctuation marks other than the comma, but that's perfectly fine and reasonable. The meter is remarkably consistent, just a few spots where it seems to flow awkwardly. However, that is to be expected in such a long poem, and I would be hard pressed to find a long poem without a few spots of difficult meter. All in all, very good! I look forward to the "monstrous reason why" the town is burning.
ReplyDeleteThere shall be a few more cliffhangers before this poem is over, so prepare yourself. The punctuation marks seemed to distract from the overall poem somehow, so i tended not to use them. The meter gets a little patchy later on in this poem, and some of the rimes require the "Poetic License" tag to make them work, so again, prepare yourself.
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